Some days are good and other days are bad, but most of my days are just bleh. They have no emotion behind it and I’m like a robot just doing what I have to do with my feelings in the backseat.
I hate these days the most.
It’s hard to put my emotions aside because I’m not that person. I’ve always let my emotions get the best of me and I feel like that is the reason why I am here. I get angry too fast, I cry too easily, and I fall in love too generously. I’m never selfish with my feelings I always let the world know what is going on.
Now I’m too guarded with myself. I don’t believe in anything or anyone, I can’t trust love or my feelings. Why should I when they always let me down?
It’s a hard journey to pick up the pieces where someone has broken you beyond recognition, I don’t remember where my pieces belong. It’s hard to start over with yourself when you were never alone to begin with and can no longer remember a time when you were. Your heart aches for a person who will never feel that way to you anymore and you can’t comprehend why, you were left in the dust.
Days are the biggest reminders. I remember certain days because I used to play it in my head like a fairy tale and now it just haunts me. It used to make me happy reminiscing on our story and now it can’t stop playing in my head like a broken record.
I know one day I’ll forget this all happened, but it won’t be for a while. I’ll just keep having okay days while you have great days with the person you replaced me with.